To all the players

To all the players out there who go around finding your conquest and breaking good girls hearts: What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously,  do you get off when you put another notch in your player belt? Or do you just like the idea of using people? What is it that makes you think that it is ok to play games? Well, hell has no fury like a woman scorned! Perhaps you don't realize that we tell all of our girlfriends about you! They know your name, what you look like and that you are hunting for fresh prey! Not only do you piss of the girl you royally fucked over, you piss off the good guys out there who will give her the love and affection she deserves. Want to know why he's pissed off? Because now he probably won't get a chance. Because of you! Yes you! Your choice to be a douche bag not only affects this girl, it affects YOU! One thing you may not realize, when you choose the `player lifestyle` that girl, that conquest, has the ability to make sure you NEVER get laid again!

This also goes for the guys who string girls along. If you don't want a relationship, tell us. We know what we want and it's not some guy who doesn't truthfully want to spend time with us. We are very aware there is no Prince Charming. We don't expect any love stories out of a Nichols Sparks novel. We want a real man, who can make us laugh. Someone who wants to be with us. Don't tell us what we want to hear. Show us what we want to see. Tell us we are beautiful, make us smile, listen to what we have to say. It's not hard to give up the player lifestyle. Just think, if you keep fucking over girls. You may have the chance to fall in love. You will be that dirty old man at the bar drinking Miller Highlife. You will go home alone. You will grow old alone, have no one to share special moments with. You will die alone. No one wants that. Before its too late change your ways! It's much easier to be nice than to waste your energy being an asshole and creating drama.

Get over yourself.. goodbye!

Ok, ladies... if you break up with someone, it's OVER O-V-E-R!!! What don't you understand? There is obviously a clear reason, why the pair of you weren't good together. Come on pull up that mental list out of the "ex" section of your brain! Did he leave his socks all over the floor? Did he use your razor? Did he leave the toilet seat up? Did he realize that you are a whole bag of crazy??? Seriously, Exes are exes for a reason!
The first guy I ever dated was a musician. He was a great guy. Divorced, had a little girl, a house, a nice car, great job. Crazy as sh*t ex wife, who wanted him to pay for her everything! His ex wife lived in Raleigh, when she found out about me, she wanted my entire biography! My age, weight, height, hair color, even what size bra I wore! She made sure she ruined any happiness he could possibly have! Trust me, having my first boyfriend, and dealing with this was waaaay to much for me at the time!
Another thing why is it both parties always assume the other one is crazy and lying?? I'll have a girl tell me she dated someone, and the guy will tell me they were only friends! The girl flips out, and the dude stays calm. I mean there is a HUGE difference between being friends with someone, and dating someone. Just because you guys go eat with some friends, and he picks up your dinner, does not make him your boyfriend. It's just means he's actually nice! I never say anything bad about my exes, unless it's true! Trust me, with the last one  I went through hell and back, and made it out alive.
These crazy drama queens, make the guys think we are all like this! That sucks for the 3% of us who are actually normal! I had a guy tell me two days ago, "You're beautiful and hate drama, thats awesome!" Umm yea, I don't want the stigma of crazy bitch! Seriously ladies, stop being trashy, stop hooking up with guys just because they asked how you're doing. I recently ran into a friends ex boyfriend (who I hate, he makes my skin crawl) As I was leaving he walked up to me, asking how she was, and if she was dating anyone. I told him not that I was aware of. He looked me in the eye with his drunken stupor, and said "yea, I'm not surprised, she tries to hard.. She's in such a hurry to get hitched" I just smiled, and walked off.
Another thing, you crazy girls are scaring the guys away! Here's a few things you DO NOT talk about, or bring up in the first 3-6 months of dating (unless it's a joke, and you both get it)
1. Marriage
2. How many children you want, or what your kids would look like, or be named!
3. Joint anything! (ie bank accounts, house, car, pet, etc)

For some reason, people especially women become stupid when they think they could have possibly found "the one" FYI, if it's the first date and you are thinking he's the one you are a fucking moron.. There is someone out there for everyone, but trust me honey! He is more than likely not it. You may see sparks as he walks through the door, but if that happens everytime you meet a guy, you should stop dating for awhile, and just focus on yourself. You need to find out who you are, and what exactly you want. Trust me when I say this, my last boyfriend, when I first saw him, everything was slow motion and I felt all fuzzy. Then after about a year and a half it turned to nausea and fear. Also, never settle for someone who seems like he may turn into the guy you've always wanted.. Now take a deep breath, and re evaluate everything!
Good day!

Oh nice guys finish last, when you are the outcast.

So I recently had a guy friend ask me about the "Nice Guys Finish Last" stigma. He said he had seen a video on YouTube with a girl talking about the subject. He asked me to watch the video, then tell him what I thought. Well, if you have read this blog at all, or even know me.. You know I speak my mind! So here it goes!

Being a female, dating is hard.. Being married is even harder! Every guy we go on a date with is always "the nice guy" at the beginning. Then he fucks up! I could end there, but what fun would that be? One thing that always sends up a red flag to me, is when in fact a guy says "nice guys always finish last, Mary Jo won't give me a chance!" Well.. My first question is always.. Why are you single? Followed by.. What happened to your last girlfriend? (God forbid, if you start quoting Train lyrics, I will never speak to you again!) In no way shape or form am I saying, that the end of any relationship is the mans fault! 

If you tell me things like.. She didn't like that you play video games all day, or  you came home drunk almost every night, or any fight ever became physical.. Then yea, You just might not be a good guy! Like for instance, a recent ex of mine who I refer to as "tattoo boy" ALWAYS accused me of cheating!!! Really?? I was around him at some point everyday!!! We texted or talked on the phone through out the day!! At what point would I have any time to cheat? Then I find out recently, that he is the one who was fucking around! Tisk tisk! 

Also, another thing.. When dating, you may be a nice guy.. You may also be annoying! If we do not seem interested, it doesn't mean try harder! When we say fuck off, we mean it.. Especially, if the female is out of your league. Because in that case, the male always becomes stupid, and only wants what he can't have! I met a guy two years ago. I wasn't interested in him by any means, and told him. One night, I was at work.. He showed up as I was sitting at the bar talking to one of my guy friends. Dude flipped out. Then the texts started, when I stopped responding, then came the emails.. Yea.. Can you imagine, how I took that? When I didn't respond to his "I'm a nice guy just give me a chance" emails.. He started showing up at my work again. The only chance I was giving this "nice guy" was to hit the road before I filed for a restraining order!

I'm bored with this for now ;) 

We come together, 'cause opposites attract

So, when it comes to looking for you Price Charming, or your Princess Charming, how do  you go about that? What kind of person do you look for? Blonde hair, blue eyes? Or tall dark and handsome? What if the person who you deemed as your "type" isn't your type after all? Then what? Do you just reevaluate everything? Well hell... I used to think that my type was tall, adventurious, light hair, and light eyes, until.. as you've read in previous blogs he was a complete monster! Now, I have no clue what my type is..

The past five years since I have been single.. very single. I started finding myself attracted to tall bald men. There is just something about bald men, I find completely attractive! Especially if they are in a suit and tie.. hmm ok, Amber back on track! Then again, a few months ago, I fell for one of my best friends, a shorter guy, who is quite the party animal. Even though I decided it would be best for both of us, not to persue anything. However, here I am now, finding myself attracted to someone who, (even though I thought he was always cute) I never thought I would be. Hopefully he doesn't take this wrong since he said he's going to read it :)

He is not at all what I am normally attracted to. He's a little shorter than me, he's really goofy! He's also really shy :) He may be a little more obnoxious than me, from the stories he's told me. Yet, it makes me wonder if I have been wrong the entire time, or if it's just the whole theory of "sometimes, someone just walks into your life that makes you change the way you think" I guess there is only one way to find out. However, there's one itsy bitsy problem.. Luckily for you guys it's sometime I have already written about!

What are some significant ways people can be alike or opposite?

• Physical attractiveness. "I think we seek a certain level of attractiveness similar to our own," Ickes says. "The Beast looks for Beauty, not the other way around." If unattractive people pursue attractive people, they are not as likely to be successful, so soon stop doing it.
• Money. If you have zero dollars, you may aspire "to hook up with a mate who's loaded," Ickes says, "but what is the chance this person is interested in you?"

• Desire for children. If the desire for a family is a source of contention, similarity of desire might be better, Ickes says.
• Religion. "I know some successful mixed marriages," Ickes says. "If you respect and tolerate the differences and don't use the kids as pawns, you can choose your own [spiritual] path."
• Class. "How often do you see an aristocrat marry a commoner in real life?" Ickes asks. "That's so rare you only see it in the movies."
• Education. "Educated people do not tend to marry stupid people," Ickes says. "But uneducated people can be smart. You need to be able to talk, interact, and share world views."

 Anyone who knows me knows, I am a huge believer in science! I did a little research prior to writing this.. Here's what science has to say about the topic!

In several studies, researchers have had women smell men's used T-shirts and rank them according to how attractive the smell is. In the past, women have indicated that the most pleasurable shirts belong to men with different major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes than they do, so scientists believe that women can subconsciously smell a man's genes [source: Kaplan].

However, when women take birth control pills, it can affect their sense of smell. In a 2008 study, Stewart Craig Roberts of the University of Newcastle found that women on the pill tended to select mates that had similar MHC genes [source: Bryner]. This may be because birth control tricks a woman's body into thinking that it's pregnant, so that a woman is subconsciously sniffing for a relative that will help her care for her nonexistent baby. Researchers hypothesized that women could meet, fall in love and marry a man, only to have the relationship crumble once they went off birth control and got a whiff of the guy's true smell. (Discovery Health)

I'm not a junkie for your love.. I'm not a junkie...

I know I always bitch and complain about my failed dates, relationships, etc.. Hey everyone has a niche, right? Yes, mine is a little jaded.. Yet, I have a right to voice what I think, and you have a choice wether or not you want to sit here for a few minutes and read it.


A few things I have noticed on the road to meeting the perfect mate, is people are desperate, and rude. A few months ago I met a guy off a well known dating site, we me for lunch. I was standing at the door of the sushi joint, as he walks up ( I already didn't want to go on this "date" he begged me to go) He looks at me and says, he wants to day drink. At that point I go to my car, sit there and start driving home, my phone buzzes with a text saying  "I'm not interested sorry" my response, "You're not the only one, I am almost home. Good luck in your search" Then two days ago, I get an email from the douche bag saying how sorry he was, guess he saw my new pictures I had uploaded) that he felt like an ass.. blah, blah, blah! Whatever! I respond saying, "GOOD BYE" Really? What an ass.

• One thing you guys need to know is, if you are trying online dating here's a few tips! 
• Do not only provide us with pictures you have taken of yourself. It makes us think you have no friends! 
• Do not pose in front of your trailer! Actually please do so we are aware of your living situation! 
• When you take bathroom pictures, we can tell if you still live with your mom.
• Always have a full body photo, not wearing a sports coat or a suit, so we can see what you really look like

If you occasionally play sports, or occasionaly hit the gym.. and not built athletic, don't say that you are! We are asking your actual body type, not what you think you see when you look in the mirror!
We don't actually care about height, as long as you don't mind us towering over you while were wearing heels.


If we don't immediatley get back to you, don't blow up our email asking why we're not responding! That will make your chance go right down the drain!


In all reality! We are all looking for something real. Even though, I am sure that I am quite different than other females. I hate roses, I'd rather get dasies. I don't want to be around you twenty four-seven! I want to spend time with my friends, and have my own life! Trust me, it can be balanced! If you trust someone enough, you should be able to prove it. Then again, I have been single five years this month. My ex was jelous, obsessive, angry, and abusive! I learned my lesson. I've also been single by choice. I guess just waiting to be swept off my feet! Good Luck to all in Love.

Gucci, Gucci, Louis, Louis, Fendi, Fendi, Prada, basic bitches wear that shit, so I don't even bother!

So, what is with the way I see men dressed uptown? It's June, 90 degrees outside you idiots  are wearing sports coats, and you're sweating!! Really? I understand you want to look appealing to us, but, seeing you all sweating, wiping your forehead with your sleeve, hand, or cocktail napkin.. IS NOT CUTE!! Oh, and what is with the pink, purple, blue, and green, stripes with paisley print shirts? Some men they look great on! However, you must realize pastels, aren't for everyone, and Easter only comes once a year! I appologize as always to anyone I may offend in this process, actually I don't care if I offend you.


I just don't understand how men,have become so bouchee, when did this happen? Trust me, I'd much rather my man be wearing nice jeans, a t-shirt, maybe even  a crips button up, basic leather shoes. I just can't seem to trust a man who wears alligator shoes. Especially if they are white or silver. OH, and those slacks that you can see your reflection in, yea.. no thanks!  Oh, another good one is the Affliction shirts, so You are a cage fighter? How about you show me some of your BJJ skills! Oh wait, you're telling me anyone can purchase those shirts??? Oh, and you drink so much beer you can't touch your toes?? HAHAHA!
What about the guys who wear golf apparel everywhere they go? I highly doubt when you are walking up to the club at 1130 pm, you just got off the 18th hole. I mean yea, I wear my Callaway hat and golf skirt in public, but get this! I was playing golf. Rainbows and golf shirts are not sexy, unless you are swinging your 9 on the course. Then of course there is this baggy pants, and oversized shirt epidemic! Ugh, and the jeans tucked into the expensive tennis shoes... YUCK! Again, not attractive! 


I may be old fashioned, but, I love a man in a suit, and tie.. There is something incredibly sexy about a man with a tie.. Sorry, I was having one of my David Beckham moments there. Even if they are wearing the dark washed jeans, button up, tie, with a sweater.. Yea, there it is again. Ok, before I drool all over my laptop, and shortwire the keyboard, let me get to the point! Boys, we do NOT like sloppy dressed men! Unless you are working on your car and covered in grease (heehee), doing yard work, etc, try to look nice! Even at the gym I see most men looking better than the men I see out. They are trying to impress the busty girl on the treadmill! Again boys, take it from me, try to look nice! We don't get ready thinking, "oh, I hope no one notices me tonight, maybe I shouldn't wear my pushup bra, and matching thong!" I hope someone gets something out of this :-) Goodnight, and have naughty dreams xoxoxo

Where troubles melt like lemon drops way above the chimney tops...

You know that moment, when you realize how overworked you really are, and you are like a kettle boiling on the stove.. The steam is starting to whistle, as you loose your grip on reality, and slip into a transverse world where nothing really matters anymore. I reached that point today. I broke down, I hit bottom. Now I have to pick myself back up, dust off my pants, and learn to take over my life again. I am a complete, workaholic, I love working, I love being busy, I don't know how to relax! I am also incredibly competitive! So for me to accept defeat is hard. At this time, I am take much needed personal time, away from my daily activites. I am going to focus on myself, as well as my writing. Maybe I can get this book written finally :-) It's only been three years! I am taking time off work, social events, and just relaxing. I haven't had a day off in two years, I need me time!