Friday, August 26, 2011

You can't always get what you want

The Rolling Stones said it best... You can't always get what you want, but, if you try sometimes you get what you need!! 

However sometimes what you need, gets you into quite a bit of trouble! 

 You roll over look at your clock, and see that time has arrived, the time a day where it all begins! You wake up everyone morning.. Just hoping that it is going to be a wonderful day! You sit up in bed, stretch your arms, and make that growling yawn, that sounds like a mix between an angry bear, and a dying trojan soldier. You wipe your eyes, and roll out of the fort you built during all the tossing and turning you did during the night. Your feet slip into your fuzzy leopard print slippers you pull on your silky robe, and make your way into the bathroom, to wash off the disgust you acquired the night before! You look in the mirror, and think to yourself, or even say in a soft whisper.. "what the @#$% happened?" Your eyes are blackened with the glamorous smokey eye you achieved before starting the night, but wonder when exactly you started transforming into a cracked out raccoon. Your hair is a whole different story! Seriously, was I in a Ke$ha look a like contest?? You start looking through your iPhone,  you see you called almost everyone you know including you know including your boss, an ex, and arch enemy, and even some numbers you randomly dialed! You can't even imagine what you would have said! You are terrified to look at your text messages, you know if you took the time to personally call people, who knows what you texted to people!

You step into the shower, and as the water is running over you, and your starting your lather, rinse, repeat, ritual images start flowing! You start remembering, there was a lot of loud music, there was a lot of dancing, a lot of drinking, you even danced on a table... Ok, that sounds like every night on the town! As you smother your hair with your deep conditioner, and start shaving your legs, you notice a big bruise on your leg, and OUCH! it freakin' hurts! What the hell happened! You rush to finish, get out dry off, put your robe and slippers on. Run outside your house, hair still soaking wet, and you sigh with relief! Good news, you didn't drive, your car is not in your driveway! Crap! did I drive and it was stolen! A look of confusion appears on your face! You walk inside and you smile, there is a receipt, from a cab company! You walk into your living room, there is a lump covered in blankets! You tip toe over to your fire place, and grab that log poking stick (what is that thing called anyways??) You want to poke the lump! The lump grumbles, you get a little nervous... who is under there! I head pops up! You see the face, it's not familiar. You ask the blonde surfer looking boy who he is! He looks at you and tells you, you and your friend tried to pick up him and his boyfriend. You can't help but to laugh! Then you remember your best friend is asleep in your guest room! You run up to wake her up! The surfer boy fills us in...

apparently this is how your night went!

  • You started off pre-gaming with straight grape vodka
  • You got a cab uptown
  • You drank more
  • You danced on a few tables
  • You got lost and departed from your friend!
  • You yelled and hit a bouncer with your shoe, when he tried to help you
  • Your phone finally rings, and you find your friend.. She's in a cab on the street
  • You pick up a gay guy who takes you to a gay bar, because they still serve until four am!
  • His boyfriend doesn't want to party, but he does, so you take him home
  • The very nice gay guy tells you what you did the night before!
Hmmm.. Maybe Ole' Mick didn't say it best! 

Oh well, at least you are safe, and (so far) there isn't a warrant for your arrest!