Oh nice guys finish last, when you are the outcast.

So I recently had a guy friend ask me about the "Nice Guys Finish Last" stigma. He said he had seen a video on YouTube with a girl talking about the subject. He asked me to watch the video, then tell him what I thought. Well, if you have read this blog at all, or even know me.. You know I speak my mind! So here it goes!

Being a female, dating is hard.. Being married is even harder! Every guy we go on a date with is always "the nice guy" at the beginning. Then he fucks up! I could end there, but what fun would that be? One thing that always sends up a red flag to me, is when in fact a guy says "nice guys always finish last, Mary Jo won't give me a chance!" Well.. My first question is always.. Why are you single? Followed by.. What happened to your last girlfriend? (God forbid, if you start quoting Train lyrics, I will never speak to you again!) In no way shape or form am I saying, that the end of any relationship is the mans fault! 

If you tell me things like.. She didn't like that you play video games all day, or  you came home drunk almost every night, or any fight ever became physical.. Then yea, You just might not be a good guy! Like for instance, a recent ex of mine who I refer to as "tattoo boy" ALWAYS accused me of cheating!!! Really?? I was around him at some point everyday!!! We texted or talked on the phone through out the day!! At what point would I have any time to cheat? Then I find out recently, that he is the one who was fucking around! Tisk tisk! 

Also, another thing.. When dating, you may be a nice guy.. You may also be annoying! If we do not seem interested, it doesn't mean try harder! When we say fuck off, we mean it.. Especially, if the female is out of your league. Because in that case, the male always becomes stupid, and only wants what he can't have! I met a guy two years ago. I wasn't interested in him by any means, and told him. One night, I was at work.. He showed up as I was sitting at the bar talking to one of my guy friends. Dude flipped out. Then the texts started, when I stopped responding, then came the emails.. Yea.. Can you imagine, how I took that? When I didn't respond to his "I'm a nice guy just give me a chance" emails.. He started showing up at my work again. The only chance I was giving this "nice guy" was to hit the road before I filed for a restraining order!

I'm bored with this for now ;) 

We come together, 'cause opposites attract

So, when it comes to looking for you Price Charming, or your Princess Charming, how do  you go about that? What kind of person do you look for? Blonde hair, blue eyes? Or tall dark and handsome? What if the person who you deemed as your "type" isn't your type after all? Then what? Do you just reevaluate everything? Well hell... I used to think that my type was tall, adventurious, light hair, and light eyes, until.. as you've read in previous blogs he was a complete monster! Now, I have no clue what my type is..

The past five years since I have been single.. very single. I started finding myself attracted to tall bald men. There is just something about bald men, I find completely attractive! Especially if they are in a suit and tie.. hmm ok, Amber back on track! Then again, a few months ago, I fell for one of my best friends, a shorter guy, who is quite the party animal. Even though I decided it would be best for both of us, not to persue anything. However, here I am now, finding myself attracted to someone who, (even though I thought he was always cute) I never thought I would be. Hopefully he doesn't take this wrong since he said he's going to read it :)

He is not at all what I am normally attracted to. He's a little shorter than me, he's really goofy! He's also really shy :) He may be a little more obnoxious than me, from the stories he's told me. Yet, it makes me wonder if I have been wrong the entire time, or if it's just the whole theory of "sometimes, someone just walks into your life that makes you change the way you think" I guess there is only one way to find out. However, there's one itsy bitsy problem.. Luckily for you guys it's sometime I have already written about!

What are some significant ways people can be alike or opposite?

• Physical attractiveness. "I think we seek a certain level of attractiveness similar to our own," Ickes says. "The Beast looks for Beauty, not the other way around." If unattractive people pursue attractive people, they are not as likely to be successful, so soon stop doing it.
• Money. If you have zero dollars, you may aspire "to hook up with a mate who's loaded," Ickes says, "but what is the chance this person is interested in you?"

• Desire for children. If the desire for a family is a source of contention, similarity of desire might be better, Ickes says.
• Religion. "I know some successful mixed marriages," Ickes says. "If you respect and tolerate the differences and don't use the kids as pawns, you can choose your own [spiritual] path."
• Class. "How often do you see an aristocrat marry a commoner in real life?" Ickes asks. "That's so rare you only see it in the movies."
• Education. "Educated people do not tend to marry stupid people," Ickes says. "But uneducated people can be smart. You need to be able to talk, interact, and share world views."

 Anyone who knows me knows, I am a huge believer in science! I did a little research prior to writing this.. Here's what science has to say about the topic!

In several studies, researchers have had women smell men's used T-shirts and rank them according to how attractive the smell is. In the past, women have indicated that the most pleasurable shirts belong to men with different major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes than they do, so scientists believe that women can subconsciously smell a man's genes [source: Kaplan].

However, when women take birth control pills, it can affect their sense of smell. In a 2008 study, Stewart Craig Roberts of the University of Newcastle found that women on the pill tended to select mates that had similar MHC genes [source: Bryner]. This may be because birth control tricks a woman's body into thinking that it's pregnant, so that a woman is subconsciously sniffing for a relative that will help her care for her nonexistent baby. Researchers hypothesized that women could meet, fall in love and marry a man, only to have the relationship crumble once they went off birth control and got a whiff of the guy's true smell. (Discovery Health)

I'm not a junkie for your love.. I'm not a junkie...

I know I always bitch and complain about my failed dates, relationships, etc.. Hey everyone has a niche, right? Yes, mine is a little jaded.. Yet, I have a right to voice what I think, and you have a choice wether or not you want to sit here for a few minutes and read it.


A few things I have noticed on the road to meeting the perfect mate, is people are desperate, and rude. A few months ago I met a guy off a well known dating site, we me for lunch. I was standing at the door of the sushi joint, as he walks up ( I already didn't want to go on this "date" he begged me to go) He looks at me and says, he wants to day drink. At that point I go to my car, sit there and start driving home, my phone buzzes with a text saying  "I'm not interested sorry" my response, "You're not the only one, I am almost home. Good luck in your search" Then two days ago, I get an email from the douche bag saying how sorry he was, guess he saw my new pictures I had uploaded) that he felt like an ass.. blah, blah, blah! Whatever! I respond saying, "GOOD BYE" Really? What an ass.

• One thing you guys need to know is, if you are trying online dating here's a few tips! 
• Do not only provide us with pictures you have taken of yourself. It makes us think you have no friends! 
• Do not pose in front of your trailer! Actually please do so we are aware of your living situation! 
• When you take bathroom pictures, we can tell if you still live with your mom.
• Always have a full body photo, not wearing a sports coat or a suit, so we can see what you really look like

If you occasionally play sports, or occasionaly hit the gym.. and not built athletic, don't say that you are! We are asking your actual body type, not what you think you see when you look in the mirror!
We don't actually care about height, as long as you don't mind us towering over you while were wearing heels.


If we don't immediatley get back to you, don't blow up our email asking why we're not responding! That will make your chance go right down the drain!


In all reality! We are all looking for something real. Even though, I am sure that I am quite different than other females. I hate roses, I'd rather get dasies. I don't want to be around you twenty four-seven! I want to spend time with my friends, and have my own life! Trust me, it can be balanced! If you trust someone enough, you should be able to prove it. Then again, I have been single five years this month. My ex was jelous, obsessive, angry, and abusive! I learned my lesson. I've also been single by choice. I guess just waiting to be swept off my feet! Good Luck to all in Love.

Gucci, Gucci, Louis, Louis, Fendi, Fendi, Prada, basic bitches wear that shit, so I don't even bother!

So, what is with the way I see men dressed uptown? It's June, 90 degrees outside you idiots  are wearing sports coats, and you're sweating!! Really? I understand you want to look appealing to us, but, seeing you all sweating, wiping your forehead with your sleeve, hand, or cocktail napkin.. IS NOT CUTE!! Oh, and what is with the pink, purple, blue, and green, stripes with paisley print shirts? Some men they look great on! However, you must realize pastels, aren't for everyone, and Easter only comes once a year! I appologize as always to anyone I may offend in this process, actually I don't care if I offend you.


I just don't understand how men,have become so bouchee, when did this happen? Trust me, I'd much rather my man be wearing nice jeans, a t-shirt, maybe even  a crips button up, basic leather shoes. I just can't seem to trust a man who wears alligator shoes. Especially if they are white or silver. OH, and those slacks that you can see your reflection in, yea.. no thanks!  Oh, another good one is the Affliction shirts, so You are a cage fighter? How about you show me some of your BJJ skills! Oh wait, you're telling me anyone can purchase those shirts??? Oh, and you drink so much beer you can't touch your toes?? HAHAHA!
What about the guys who wear golf apparel everywhere they go? I highly doubt when you are walking up to the club at 1130 pm, you just got off the 18th hole. I mean yea, I wear my Callaway hat and golf skirt in public, but get this! I was playing golf. Rainbows and golf shirts are not sexy, unless you are swinging your 9 on the course. Then of course there is this baggy pants, and oversized shirt epidemic! Ugh, and the jeans tucked into the expensive tennis shoes... YUCK! Again, not attractive! 


I may be old fashioned, but, I love a man in a suit, and tie.. There is something incredibly sexy about a man with a tie.. Sorry, I was having one of my David Beckham moments there. Even if they are wearing the dark washed jeans, button up, tie, with a sweater.. Yea, there it is again. Ok, before I drool all over my laptop, and shortwire the keyboard, let me get to the point! Boys, we do NOT like sloppy dressed men! Unless you are working on your car and covered in grease (heehee), doing yard work, etc, try to look nice! Even at the gym I see most men looking better than the men I see out. They are trying to impress the busty girl on the treadmill! Again boys, take it from me, try to look nice! We don't get ready thinking, "oh, I hope no one notices me tonight, maybe I shouldn't wear my pushup bra, and matching thong!" I hope someone gets something out of this :-) Goodnight, and have naughty dreams xoxoxo

Where troubles melt like lemon drops way above the chimney tops...

You know that moment, when you realize how overworked you really are, and you are like a kettle boiling on the stove.. The steam is starting to whistle, as you loose your grip on reality, and slip into a transverse world where nothing really matters anymore. I reached that point today. I broke down, I hit bottom. Now I have to pick myself back up, dust off my pants, and learn to take over my life again. I am a complete, workaholic, I love working, I love being busy, I don't know how to relax! I am also incredibly competitive! So for me to accept defeat is hard. At this time, I am take much needed personal time, away from my daily activites. I am going to focus on myself, as well as my writing. Maybe I can get this book written finally :-) It's only been three years! I am taking time off work, social events, and just relaxing. I haven't had a day off in two years, I need me time!

Excuse Me Mr. Creeper

So, friday night, I meet a girl friend of mine out at a local bar. I make my way through the slightly crowded top bar to find my friend at the back bar which is called "the yard." I find my friend talking to a man, we will call this man Max! She introduces us, and we all start talking. My friend brings up a conversation we were having earlier in the day, about  a bra that I had purchased.

Ok, so this will make sense, I will recap the earlier event for you! I had gone shopping a few days earlier, Victoria's Secret, was having their semi annual sale! I dislike shopping so in a rush to get what I wanted and get out, I grabbed a nude colored bra in my size (36D) and made a dash for the register! Well what I failed to realize is that the bra I had chosen was from their Gorgeous line! It adds two cup sizes. Which I still think is odd that they make them for D cups! This bra makes me a 36F! Umm yea, no thanks! Well earlier friday, while getting ready, I tried the bra on with the shirt I was planning on wearing that evening. The shirt wouldn't fit, due to adding two cup sizes to my already large chest! I texted my friend telling her the hilarious story about the bra, and how my shirts failed to fit, while wearing said bra!

She brings up this conversation in Max's presence, so I relay the same story I did for you! My friend leaves to fetch a drink, and leaves me with Max. Max introduces me to as I like to call him Mr. Creeper! Max looks at Creeper, and asks him to guess my bra size! Creeper looks  befuddled at the question. He then introduces himself to me, and Max points out that he is Canadian. I did not know that this conversation would lead to Mr. Creeper standing over my shoulder the entire night.

I don't understand why men, get some creepy sometimes. Do they really think we find it amusing that they stalk us out like prey? Maybe, that is just me, but, I find it menacing!

Here we go again..

When do you decide it's time to start looking for your perfect mate? Do you just get tired of being lonely? Is it just time to grow up, and become and adult? Time to start living "The American Dream"? Well for me, it just means that I have become incredibly bored with the idea of entertaining myself. 

Don't get me wrong, I always get hit on.. It just seems like they are the wrong ones for me. Then again, I think to myself what is my "type"? Bankers, Doctors, Lawyers? Tattooed biker guy? Clean cut  JFK look-a-like? Umm yea, how about we roll all that into one person. Is that possible? Can you genetically design the perfect mate? Yea right! 


I love going out and looking around. Looking at the couples I see, and thinking to myself. How did they meet? Where did they meet? What made them click?  In-fact, how does match making work? What attracts you to someone? Is it the special twinkle in their eye? They way their hair is combed? I look at people when I meet them, and size them up (I am not going to lie). I look at their eye color, check for any scars that appear to the naked eye. I dated a guy years ago, who had this large weird scar, by one of his eyes. I asked him what happened. All he said was "beer bottle." I asked him to leave. 


I also always wonder if I am anyone's type... I am crazy, obnoxious, loud, free spirited, and I have tattoos, and want many more. Some people tell me, that it's not something that people look for. Then again, I just don't care.  Why should I? I am not going to change for anyone. I am me, hear me roar. Hahaha, I just re read that it made me smile and giggle. Everyone at the coffee house is looking at me like I am crazy! Oh well, I am! 


Ok, I really have no idea what to write about obviously! I just noticed, I haven't written in a while. Figured I'd give you guys something to ponder on, especially while I am still working on the Rabbit Hole Survey.