We come together, 'cause opposites attract

So, when it comes to looking for you Price Charming, or your Princess Charming, how do  you go about that? What kind of person do you look for? Blonde hair, blue eyes? Or tall dark and handsome? What if the person who you deemed as your "type" isn't your type after all? Then what? Do you just reevaluate everything? Well hell... I used to think that my type was tall, adventurious, light hair, and light eyes, until.. as you've read in previous blogs he was a complete monster! Now, I have no clue what my type is..

The past five years since I have been single.. very single. I started finding myself attracted to tall bald men. There is just something about bald men, I find completely attractive! Especially if they are in a suit and tie.. hmm ok, Amber back on track! Then again, a few months ago, I fell for one of my best friends, a shorter guy, who is quite the party animal. Even though I decided it would be best for both of us, not to persue anything. However, here I am now, finding myself attracted to someone who, (even though I thought he was always cute) I never thought I would be. Hopefully he doesn't take this wrong since he said he's going to read it :)

He is not at all what I am normally attracted to. He's a little shorter than me, he's really goofy! He's also really shy :) He may be a little more obnoxious than me, from the stories he's told me. Yet, it makes me wonder if I have been wrong the entire time, or if it's just the whole theory of "sometimes, someone just walks into your life that makes you change the way you think" I guess there is only one way to find out. However, there's one itsy bitsy problem.. Luckily for you guys it's sometime I have already written about!

What are some significant ways people can be alike or opposite?

• Physical attractiveness. "I think we seek a certain level of attractiveness similar to our own," Ickes says. "The Beast looks for Beauty, not the other way around." If unattractive people pursue attractive people, they are not as likely to be successful, so soon stop doing it.
• Money. If you have zero dollars, you may aspire "to hook up with a mate who's loaded," Ickes says, "but what is the chance this person is interested in you?"

• Desire for children. If the desire for a family is a source of contention, similarity of desire might be better, Ickes says.
• Religion. "I know some successful mixed marriages," Ickes says. "If you respect and tolerate the differences and don't use the kids as pawns, you can choose your own [spiritual] path."
• Class. "How often do you see an aristocrat marry a commoner in real life?" Ickes asks. "That's so rare you only see it in the movies."
• Education. "Educated people do not tend to marry stupid people," Ickes says. "But uneducated people can be smart. You need to be able to talk, interact, and share world views."

 Anyone who knows me knows, I am a huge believer in science! I did a little research prior to writing this.. Here's what science has to say about the topic!

In several studies, researchers have had women smell men's used T-shirts and rank them according to how attractive the smell is. In the past, women have indicated that the most pleasurable shirts belong to men with different major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes than they do, so scientists believe that women can subconsciously smell a man's genes [source: Kaplan].

However, when women take birth control pills, it can affect their sense of smell. In a 2008 study, Stewart Craig Roberts of the University of Newcastle found that women on the pill tended to select mates that had similar MHC genes [source: Bryner]. This may be because birth control tricks a woman's body into thinking that it's pregnant, so that a woman is subconsciously sniffing for a relative that will help her care for her nonexistent baby. Researchers hypothesized that women could meet, fall in love and marry a man, only to have the relationship crumble once they went off birth control and got a whiff of the guy's true smell. (Discovery Health)

Gucci, Gucci, Louis, Louis, Fendi, Fendi, Prada, basic bitches wear that shit, so I don't even bother!

So, what is with the way I see men dressed uptown? It's June, 90 degrees outside you idiots  are wearing sports coats, and you're sweating!! Really? I understand you want to look appealing to us, but, seeing you all sweating, wiping your forehead with your sleeve, hand, or cocktail napkin.. IS NOT CUTE!! Oh, and what is with the pink, purple, blue, and green, stripes with paisley print shirts? Some men they look great on! However, you must realize pastels, aren't for everyone, and Easter only comes once a year! I appologize as always to anyone I may offend in this process, actually I don't care if I offend you.


I just don't understand how men,have become so bouchee, when did this happen? Trust me, I'd much rather my man be wearing nice jeans, a t-shirt, maybe even  a crips button up, basic leather shoes. I just can't seem to trust a man who wears alligator shoes. Especially if they are white or silver. OH, and those slacks that you can see your reflection in, yea.. no thanks!  Oh, another good one is the Affliction shirts, so You are a cage fighter? How about you show me some of your BJJ skills! Oh wait, you're telling me anyone can purchase those shirts??? Oh, and you drink so much beer you can't touch your toes?? HAHAHA!
What about the guys who wear golf apparel everywhere they go? I highly doubt when you are walking up to the club at 1130 pm, you just got off the 18th hole. I mean yea, I wear my Callaway hat and golf skirt in public, but get this! I was playing golf. Rainbows and golf shirts are not sexy, unless you are swinging your 9 on the course. Then of course there is this baggy pants, and oversized shirt epidemic! Ugh, and the jeans tucked into the expensive tennis shoes... YUCK! Again, not attractive! 


I may be old fashioned, but, I love a man in a suit, and tie.. There is something incredibly sexy about a man with a tie.. Sorry, I was having one of my David Beckham moments there. Even if they are wearing the dark washed jeans, button up, tie, with a sweater.. Yea, there it is again. Ok, before I drool all over my laptop, and shortwire the keyboard, let me get to the point! Boys, we do NOT like sloppy dressed men! Unless you are working on your car and covered in grease (heehee), doing yard work, etc, try to look nice! Even at the gym I see most men looking better than the men I see out. They are trying to impress the busty girl on the treadmill! Again boys, take it from me, try to look nice! We don't get ready thinking, "oh, I hope no one notices me tonight, maybe I shouldn't wear my pushup bra, and matching thong!" I hope someone gets something out of this :-) Goodnight, and have naughty dreams xoxoxo

Oh, she's a gold digger.. that digs on me...

So why do men LOVE  gold diggers, and attention whores?? What gets men off by having some selfish, self absorbed, and on most cases I've seen.. unattractive, little girl want them? Is it some weird psychological fatherly instinct? Is it they think they can't get a real woman? Why do those guys get defensive when you call them a player? The way I look at it, is some girls for some reason have horrible insecurities. It keeps them from being the person they wish they could aspire to be, and it turns them into lime light chasing wannabes! I guess it's too much for a successful man to want a successful woman, because then who would wear the pants in the relationship? God forbid a powerful woman, who is normal finding a powerful man.

Then again, I can't say it surprises me! I go around uptown Charlotte, I look at the men, who are taking home a different girl every night, buying every girl they see a drink, and they look proud. Just like daddy lion when he brings home a zebra caucus for his cubs, and lioness. It makes men feel proud to be the ones who get the most, the won who wins the race, they have with their inner ego! Oh, have you seen the chicks, when they see a shiny new car, or a group of guys sitting in a VIP section, ordering bottles of belvedere. Those guys know your game! Surprisingly they have whore-dar! They can spot you! Don't worry they are just as stupid as you, so it won't be any battle of wits, so go ahead gold diggers, take a sigh of relief! You wont actually have to think!

It's people like this who ruin society! I really hate when you give someone a chance, just to find out they are wrapped around one of those, girls fingers! I hate to bring it to your attention, but there is more to relationships than money, fast cars, and your social status! It surprises me when I meet someone just to find out, they are in fact the person that I despise! Even though his friends tell you he's such a good guy, and you put yourself on the line. Just to find out all they want to do is use you and lie to you! Seriously? I'm not one of these dumb girls who only wants to be eye candy, and love you for your money! I actually have my own opinions, and am not afraid to say whats on my mind!

Then again, you tell them what you really think, they get confused. Thank that digger for that! All those mind games she's been playing on him, confuses his little man brain! He actually thinks you are talking about someone else! "Sweetie, I'm so sorry he made you feel that way"
"Umm who are you referring to? I was talking about you!" Then they freak out! Holy strawberry Batman, you don't care! They don't know what to do, except... Yep, you got it LIE!
They have no clue what you're talking about, then they try to reel you back in. Hmmm what move can they make on this life size chess board. They try to cover their ass by playing the game, they've been played with! Just for you, yes you Powerful Woman, you! You, to Check, Mate!

Then the game ends, they start asking you really unusual questions, because they realize they have lost, and you are in fact the master! You know these questions have to do with another girl, even though they don't admit it! They still hope you are kinda dumb, and wont figure it out. Now to the best part! They have lied so much, they don't think they are going to get caught! GOD FORBID, that girl the attention whore, I was referring to, post everything!!! Hmmm.. excuse me Mister, would you like to pick your dignity up off the floor, or just let your balls continue to shrivel up and fall off?

The fun part? They are dumb enough not to understand, that you actually get whats going on! You thought you met a normal guy, that was sweet, and real! I mean, someone I trust, tells me, go for it! Then when I tell that friend I'm done, he tells me not to! I listen! Guess what happens... Come on take a wild guess... Yea! You're right, He's full of it, fuller than before! There is so much drama! I think every man needs to ask himself, if he was himself, but didn't have the money, the cars, or the houses, would these gold diggers, and attentions whores want anything to do with them?? I highly doubt it, when you guys loose it all, they will not be there to pick up the pieces! Hopefully, you haven't pissed off the real woman, who you decided to push to the side, and she's there with a broom and dustpan in hand!

I hope this makes a lot of you think, deep and hard! Look carefully at the people you surround yourself with!

I love you.... but...

We've all been there! I know I have. You are in love someone, you're happy, thinking about the future! Then one day... You wake up, wonder what happened to that plan you had, about your future. You roll out of bed, hoping HE doesn't wake up, because you don't even want to hear his voice, because it gets on your nerves. You tip toe into the kitchen to make coffee, then realize the noise may possibly wake him. Well, you run back into the bedroom hurry up and get ready for work, there will be coffee when you get there. As your getting ready to leave you hear the grumbling of your loved one asking what your doing. You swallow your disgust and hatred, walk over, and say.. Don't worry baby, go back to sleep i'm off to work! Give him a quick kiss, and make a run for it!
When you get to work, you look at your friend and ask... "When do you know when it's time to leave" For her just to look back at you, and respond "If you're asking that question... then it's time!" Your phone is vibrating on the counter.. His ears must be burning. You unlock your blackberry to see it.. a text reading (from him) What's wrong? You're acting different! You think about what to say that can get you in the least amount of trouble. Baby, I'm fine, just tired, haven't been sleeping well. When in fact you know you want to grab your dog, and run.. run far away, and FAST!
The sad part... it what helped you come to the conclusion that it was time, is a song by The Pussycat Dolls, you heard on So You Think You Can Dance, the night before! Who knew they could be some philosophical?
The question is... If you feel so deeply about someone so deeply, how can you fall out of love with them so quickly? Were you ever in love with them to begin with, or were they just convenient? How do you know?? Is there a way to find out before you waste all of those years, on nothing? Maybe I'll explore this next...

Who is the little guy?

 Most guys treat sex like car problem, bigger wrench, pull/push harder, etc. When in essence all you have to do to bond and have mind blowing sex is form a real and true connection-- almost on any level. Once you do that, the gloves are off. Patience pays when it comes to women and real sex.. That's according to my friend Robert! Which is very true! That's one thing I have never truly understood.. Sex on the first date? What's the point?

First of all, you have to mental connection! Second of all, how much do you know about this person? What's their last name? Do they have any siblings? When is their birthday??  I'm told by many of my guy friends, that if you sleep with them on the first date, they will never have a serious relationship with you!

Then why do they try? C'mon their guys, they only really truly think with the head that's being held back by their flashy button up fly! I do wonder when they are on that first date... hmmm... when do they decide if they are going to try? Is it part of their stupid little game they play to get you to jump into bed (or the backseat depending on what kinda girl you are)? I've met plenty of guys, that when I've said it's not going to happen, they move on! Their loss not mine!

Still my favorite is still the guy who gets drunk intentionally, and then looks at you and says... "So where am I sleeping?"
Just for me to look right back over, and say... "Your house if you can make it, i'll even walk you to your car!"  Today in this world, just like Lil' Kim said... If a guy has three girls than he's the man, if a girl do they same then she's a whore! So who came up with that? some jerk with little man syndrome?

My whole reason isn't to bash men... They have good tendencies.. They mow grass, open jars, lift heavy things, and some are just pretty to look at! Ooooh nothing better than a tall man with muscles and tattoos, not wearing a shirt lifting something heavy, and wiping the sweat from his brow... ok, snap out of it, enough day dreaming! Or is it enough... lalalala

You've got a friend

So why is it, once you enter a relationship, you no longer have your friends? Is it a rule, that once you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, your boyfriends and girlfriends are no longer of importance?  Girls get jealous of their boyfriends female friends, and vice versa! If you care about someone, shouldn't you take them as they are? When you meet that person, do you customize them? Make them change their hair color, change the way they dress? No! You love everything about them.
I learned a long time ago, when I was in a situation where; my friends were not good for me, and the way I dressed wasn't appropriate. However, his friends were good for me, and whatever he wanted to do was appropriate! I hate to break it to you boys out there! Just because you have a penis doesn't make you king!
For you ladies out there, who do the same thing... You are not the queen!
When it comes to relationships, you shouldn't change your whole life around, to make that person happy! If you are someone they want to be with, they should like everything about you! You should still be allowed to live your life, and "do you"
 There has been plenty of times, where I've had guy friends, who I would hang out with, watch movies, play scrabble, etc... THEY WERE JUST FRIENDS!!  Then they get girlfriends, and adios! I never see them, or talk to them anymore. They are gone, luckily because of Facebook, and having girlfriends who take pictures of EVERYTHING they do, I know they are still kickin!
The way I look at it, is... If your friends were there before the significant other, they are going to be there after! I learned my lesson before, I got rid of my friends, then... When I had to leave my ex, I had to beg for forgiveness from my friends! That was a lot of arse to kiss!
That is a subject every couple needs to talk about! Surprisingly people have just friends! Also the way it boils down, is if you are that insecure about something that ridiculous... It's not going to work! Another if you are constantly accusing them of  cheating or whatever it may be, we immediately think you have a guilty conscious  and that is your way of  coming clean.

Friends are forever, boyfriends and girlfriends are easily replaceable!

Nine Lives

When will friends learn to just be friends... I'm probably one of the few girls who can have guy friends who are just guy friends. They are there when I need them, a shoulder to cry on with out the reach around.  However there is the one guy friend, who If I had met him under different circumstances he would have definatley been lust material.  He's a great guy to be around, and, I love hanging out with him... Then a week ago, he looks me in the eye and tells me... "I actually like you, and like being friends with you.. but, everytime I am around you I just want to kiss you" Well, now i'm screwed! What do I do, take the chance and possibly loose an awesome friend if it doesn't work out? or remain friends, and wonder... I know typical...

Being a single woman is a lot of work, you keep your eye open at all times for that special guy, then...  you spend thirty minutes getting ready to go to the waffle house, just incase David Beckham is sitting at the bar, and his ready to leave Posh, and run away with you! (Hey! I can dream can't I??) God only knows what is in store for you!

I mean after all, I'm actually in love with someone I never fell out of love with...

Here we go again...

Now, that I'm in my late twenties, I've realized that I am in fact ready to settle down. I want to find the special person who makes me feel like I am complete. However, to get to that point, you have to go on multiple dates, with all the wrong guys. As your getting ready for each date, you put on your make up, pick out the perfect outfit, and hope that this one could possibly be the one. Then you walk into a crowded wine bar, to see the blind date you've been set up with standing in the corner sipping on a corona. You think to yourself, "should I slowly back out, and hope he doesn't see me?" Ooops too late, you've been spotted. You make your way over to find that the "tall handsome banker" you were supposed to meet, is balding, but, still has more hair on his head than the teeth in his mouth. YIKES!

There is always that guy, the one your friend sets you up with, who they think is perfect for you! Obviously, your friend needs to learn something about you, because setting you up with a Jersey Shores reject really isn't your cup of herbal tea! You go on date after date, after long painful date. Well, at least there is dinner... right?  There's been a few times, I've just had to part ways, before the server could bring the drinks. Heck, I've even had a date leave me, at the restaurant because, he just couldn't take a joke! Seriously, where are the guys who aren't afraid to get their hands dirty, take less time to get ready than I do, and a sense of humor is a MUST!!!  We are all aware that prince charming doesn't really exist, if you do think that, here is a free reality check! No one is perfect, however someone is perfect for you! Just keep fishing, you will keep catching guppies for a while, but, one day, when your line tugs, there will be a prize winner waiting for you, just don't try to mount it on your wall :-)

Being a single woman, is a hard life to balance. You have to juggle work, friends, family, and (trying) to live a healthy lifestyle. I was single through most of my life, all through high school, and college. Then one day, I met this guy. I thought he was the ONE, the guy who was going to sweep me off my feet. Boy, after five years, I found out I was very, very wrong. He didn't sweep me off my feet into his arms, he only sweeped me off my feet into a wall.
When I decided to leave, I moved home. I was happy to find out one of my best friends was moving back as well. When she arrived she introduced me to dating websites. So, I made a profile, uploaded a few photos, and hoped I wasn't going to meet Charlie Manson. So, a guy emailed me, Cute photos, great job, seemed really nice.  Ummm yea, so I meet him at a bar,  he was surrounded by empty cocktail glasses (and, I was early). Shortly after I arrive his speech starts slurring, and he starts yelling. I try my hardest to start acting crazy, saying things like "I always carry a knife, just in case I have to stab someone" his response "That's SO hot" No matter what I said it did not turn this guy off. Luckily I convinced him I was tired and wanted to go home. 
For some reason I decided to keep on keepin' on! Date #2  Owner of a construction company. Seemed like a nice guy, once again, cute photos. His idea for a date, Bobcats game!! Of course, I had never been to one, and being the huge sports fan that I am; I was very excited!! He then tells me he's getting courtside tickets!! I'm getting more and more excited. So I meet the guy at the arena before the game. After introducing himself he then tells me he hasn't gotten tickets yet, and need to buy them. UGH really?? He then buys floor seats from some guy off the street. Ended up being pretty good seats! Then we sit down, the game starts, I'm focused into the game! What does #2 do?? Starts talking... Once again UGH!  He's also trying to convince me, not only is he just that awesome, he is a stunt crotch rocket rider, and he busted his sprocket! I excuse myself to the ladies room. The lady that was sitting a few seats down from us approaches me, asking if it was our first date. I told her yes, she asked if there would be a second one, I smiled and said "NO" 
After the game, we meet some of my friends at a bar across the street. Luckily, I was able to ditch him. Later I find out he asked my best male friend if I was in fact a whore, and slept with a lot of guys.